We couldn't congratulate Joel. We couldn't give him hugs, cards, gifts, or "wise words" (from those of us 5 months older than him). He wasn't there. At least, he wasn't there physically. Joel, as some of you know, was a dear friend of mine for the past four plus years, all through high school and the summer after. Late last summer, Joel passed away just two weeks before I moved south to Tennessee. To say it was rough would be an understatement. Now, this isn't me reaching out for pity or sympathy. Pity doesn't really do much for anyone. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly "okay" with what happened last summer, but that's not the point of this post. I guess the point is that life is short, and you'll never know who you'll impact or how much you impact them. I'll split that up a little bit into two small thoughts on each.
Life is short, make the most of it. Now, I don't mean make the most of it and go live for yourself. Not at all. Honestly, that sounds awful. I don't want you to think I want y'all to go out and drink, do drugs, have sex, and just plain do what you want. No. That's kind of a selfish lifestyle if you ask me. I do not condone that. What I mean is be incredibly conscious of your decisions. What are you doing, and how is it bringing about the Kingdom of God? If it isn't, is there a way that it could? I guess the main thing here is that you don't know what's going to happen or when. You could be taken from your friends and family less than two months after your eighteenth birthday like Joel, or you could be baling hay at 89 and live another twelve years like my great-grandpa (that's 101 for you arts majors out there). You don't know.
Second part of my initial point is that you don't know who you impact or the degree to which they are impacted. Seriously, you impact a lot of people. Personally, this past year, I had a friend tell me about what I'd done in his life. I didn't think I'd really done anything, but I made an impact without even trying. Joel, I can't imagine that he even knew all the people he impacted. Those of you that knew him knew that he was very introverted, especially during the first three years of high school, and those of you that didn't know him? Well, he was pretty introverted, especially during the first three years of high school. There were probably over 50 people (rough estimate) at the park, all of whom had been impacted by Joel. I think if he had been able to see our gathering, he wouldn't have known the impact he had made. So, I guess just think about it. Think about your actions and how they might impact other people, whether you know them or not. Think about if you are a positive impact or a negative impact; do you lift people up or do you bring them down?
I'm not really positive what I'm getting at, but I think I may have covered it fairly well. I don't know... Anyways, what do you think? What are some ways that you are lifting people up, and what are some ways that you need to change (in order to stop bringing people down)? What are some ways that you are making the most of life?
Sidenote: I think you can pretty well disregard my titles in respect to the content of these posts.
Edit/disclaimer: Again, I'm not saying I do all of this well. It's all a work in progress for me, too. It's just thoughts that I think that I feel like sharing.
Also, this is Joel, all gussied up for the Civil War (he was a reenactor and loved it):
Edit/disclaimer: Again, I'm not saying I do all of this well. It's all a work in progress for me, too. It's just thoughts that I think that I feel like sharing.
Also, this is Joel, all gussied up for the Civil War (he was a reenactor and loved it):
Zac, I really appreciate this post. I know that Joel's death had many of the same influences in my life. Also, I completely understand how hard it is to put these into words - I've tried many times and often I feel like the words can't do it justice. It's simply a reminder that life can end at any moment and we need to live each day with God and other people being our main focus. I think Joel's death changed my outlook on life because he and I were so simliar - it made it very real that everything could be over in a moment, so it's important to live to build others up and touch other people.
ReplyDeleteJust something that struck me was the tie-in with your "pay it forward" post earlier with regards to the impact you have on people. As in, live your life in a way that can change others (in a good way) even without being intentional about it, similar to a good habit. And perhaps one of the better ways to get to that point would be to specifically focus on paying it forward, or, as you put it, making the most of life.
ReplyDeleteI loved these thoughts (until the end when the self-deprecating remarks started AGAIN!) It is a beautiful tribute to Joel and to the people we should all strive to be.
ReplyDelete@Ann Those aren't self-deprecating remarks, those are straight up truth, and they don't even have a whole lot to do with me. If you're talking about the title comment, well, they really are fairly random. As for life being a work in progress for me too, absolutely it is, and that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteAnd to everyone, I really do appreciate you reading and commenting. Thank you.
Tim, I really like that tie in. I don't want to sound callus, but reflection on the past does little good if we do not tie it to the moment or to eternity.
ReplyDeleteI feel a little sheepish writing about Joel because I spent relatively little time with him. However, I think this is a testament to your point about how we impact one another. When you invest in someone, if only for a week or two, you reach expectations for them and they for you. Those expectations help define who we are and how we act, what we plan, and all that we feel. Death is a denial of expectation; it leaves questions and uneasiness, to say the least. Conversely, fulfilling the expectations of our peers and ourselves feels good. Our expectations for ourselves and others grease the wheel to our (and their) actions. As I see it, we must hold each other with high expectations while still forgiving one another and receiving each other despite our failures. Hopefully that makes sense.
Keep writing, Zac. You have good thoughts. I will comment as much as you'd like, but let me know if I become obnoxious.